Last month, I
forgot had absolutely no time to come up with creative posts relating to my job in student affairs, so instead I decided to tell you all about the things I was obsessed with at that very moment. A quick little update on those – “The Carrie Diaries” is on it’s summer hiatus (unless it was secretly cancelled like “Flash Forward” was two years ago), I haven’t gone on any Tumblr blogs in awhile (maybe I should since I’ve been in a perpetually bad mood), I’ve been too poor to eat shrimp from the fancy grocery stores and too scared to visit Walmart this month, that means I’ve also been too poor for a Spirit Jersey (I just found out how much those things cost WHAT?!), and I have a week to finish the current three seasons of Arrested Development before the glorious day that Season 4 arrives is upon us.
Back to the point. The other day, my friend was texting me ridiculous things all day. And I don’t mean ridiculous as in pictures of dogs wearing wigs, but she was asking me all sorts of questions. Maybe she was bored at work? Who knows?
This is what I send friends on a regular basis to cheer them up.
Anywho. So one of the questions read “what are things you don’t like?” Or so I thought. But instead of re-reading it, I started typing this epic list of things I don’t like on my iPad. When I went to trim it down and type it in a text message, I realized she asked me to name things I like. Because that makes sense. So I put my list aside and quickly typed up a list of things I like. HOWEVER since I saved that list, I thought another random post would be a great way to honor everything I can’t stand in life. Here we go, in no particular order.
There is nothing that pisses me off than people who CAN’T DRIVE. I swear, I don’t know how they got their licenses, but there are some people that can’t grasp basic concepts like using a blinker or getting out of the passing lane if you’re doing five under and there are a bunch of cars behind you. You don’t know me, you don’t know my life. Yeah, yeah, I just want to get to Target and back before the Grey’s Anatomy finale, BUT WHAT IF I WAS TRYING TO GET MY SICK DOG TO THE EMERGENCY VET? Move.
The Way Glitter Gets Everywhere
Yesterday at dinner, I kept seeing something shiny on my face out of the corner of my eye. When I finally went to the bathroom, I saw that there was glitter ALL OVER MY FACE. I know that can happen when one has an interaction with glitter, but the thing is, I did not see any glitter at all yesterday. No glittery make up, no glitter on anything in my purse…where did it come from?!
My iPhone’s Battery
All it does is die. Seriously. I charge it all day at work and by 8 or 9 pm I’m getting the 20% warning. One time I took a day trip to Manhattan. I made sure to charge the phone fully before leaving and used it minimally on the way there. Once I got there, I texted a few friends, maybe took a few pictures, and then put it back in my pocket. After lunch, it was under 30%, so I took thirty minutes and sat on the floor in the lobby of some random building in Manhattan to charge my phone. I do not live a very glamorous life.
I know this is a dislike many individuals have. I routinely find creative ways to kill them while keeping myself as far from them as possible. In the past, these have included throwing a shoe at the wall and spraying them with Windex. However, the other day I faced a terrible dilemma. There was a spider crawling ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN. I can’t just throw a shoe at my computer or spray it with Windex. So, I went for the next logical solution – the vacuum. I used the vacuum tube to get rid of the intruder. Except. My vacuum thinks it’s fancy so it has a clear canister instead of a bag so you can see all the dirt and hair you just sucked off your floor. And it turns out that this spider did not die during his trip through the vacuum and was instead happily crawling around all the dirt and hair. There was no way I was emptying that into my trashcan, so I took the whole thing outside to the dumpster and said goodbye to Mr. Spider there. (I also tried calling three different people to see if they’d empty the canister for me – no luck.)
The Spell Checker On This Thing
Right now it’s telling me that I spelled “spiders” and “battery” wrong even though they are not underlined in this paragraph. It also keeps telling me that “texting” and “texted” aren’t real words, but let me assure you, THEY ARE.
When USA Is Showing Something That Is NOT SVU
I’m not sure exactly what “type” of shows the USA channel shows, but 90% of the time I turn it on, they are in the midst of a Law and Order SVU marathon. These marathons usually have some sort of theme that sounds like it could be the title of a Jerry Springer/Maury Povich episode. I don’t even pay attention to the themes, I just sit back and watch six hours of my life disappear. But, during times of absolute SVU need (having the flu, going to the gym and getting the treadmill closest to the TV), I turn on ol’ faithful and find some other crap show on. SVU has taught me that exercising outside is bad for me – I will either find a dead body or I will become one. Hence why I like to watch it while running INDOORS.
When Pandora Goes On Some Weird Tangent
I have my go-to stations on Pandora that ALWAYS play good music. Except for moments like right now where they play eight songs in a row that sound like they could have been composed by my eleven-year-old-self playing with the keyboards in my music tech class. “WOOO ALL THE NOISES!!!”
That, my friends, is all for now. I assure you the list was originally much longer, but I also wasn’t putting paragraphs of back story with each item. I will save the rest for some other time.