Category Archives: Throwback Thursday

TBT – That Time I Got De-Friended (Goodbye!)

You might have been wondering what prompted me to write that rant on Facebook de-friending. Well, as a reminder, I wrote it four years ago. As I said yesterday, these stories tend to be good ones. AND! This was from back in the day, before you could just hide someone from your news feed.

I wrote the pre-cursor to yesterday’s post in response to being de-friended. Oh, and I posted it somewhere that the “friend” would be able to easily see it. Passive aggressive? Yes. Worth it? Probably. You see, this came OUT OF NOWHERE. The person who did this was one of my best friends and her way of ending our friendship was by de-friending me on Facebook. That’s also passive aggressive. I probably would have NEVER wrote something like that had I discovered that some random classmate de-friended me. On with the story!

Flashback to Summer 2009. Neon was just sort of becoming a thing, the recession was at it’s worst, and nobody had jobs. I had a great group of friends that I had known seemingly forever. We loved hanging out and we had absolutely no problem with doing low key things, like watching TV shows or movies at someone’s house because we were all equally broke and couldn’t afford going out to dinner or shopping at the mall. One of our friends was KNOWN for being a drama queen and a major one upper. If you told her that your life was going well, hers was going SO MUCH BETTER. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you were down in the dumps, there was NO WAY things could be any worse than they were for her. While it was annoying, my friends and I tended to look past her antics because we all had the same twisted sense of humor.

We had been there through thick and thin for each other for YEARS and this summer we were ALL having a hard time. My parents weren’t working, one friend’s grandfather was on the decline, another friend worked at a camp for kids with special needs and it was really taking it’s toll on her. Our resident crazy girl (let’s call her Cray, makes it SO much easier) knew all this…so she proceeded to tell us how EVERYBODY in her family got laid off the same week and HER grandfather was sick as well….The life of Cray. The summer went on and suddenly Cray just stopped coming to things. She wouldn’t call or text in advance, she just wouldn’t show up. If we asked her where she was, she would just say that her grandfather was sick so she couldn’t make it. We didn’t want to pry too much and while we didn’t care if she missed pizza night, she started to miss some large, planned events like birthdays and holiday celebrations. At this point, we were still in contact with her and while she was willing to spill how hard it was with her family not working and her grandfather being ill, she never once asked any of us how we were doing. I’m pretty easy going so I just shrugged it off but my other two friends were getting angrier each week. The final straw for them came when she missed my birthday party without a word to any of us. I didn’t want to make waves, so I didn’t say anything, but I was really disappointed. The other two texted her asking where she was (her grandfather was sick so she couldn’t make it) and then vowed to stop speaking to her.

I’m honestly not sure if the other two said anything to Cray between my birthday party and a few days later when I posted on her Facebook wall, but she BLEW UP at me. I simply wrote a message on her wall asking how her grandfather was doing. I mean, she missed one of her “best friend’s” birthdays because he was sick, so I was worried! For some reason, this set her off but instead of calling me or texting or even privately messaging me, she wrote back on my Facebook wall saying that she couldn’t believe that I thought she was lying and that I was a terrible friend. Since I’m not a big fan of airing one’s dirty laundry on Facebook, I texted her and let her know that I was actually curious about how he was doing, but she just kept taking it the wrong way. Shortly after that, she wound up de-friending us.

I found out about this few weeks later. I figured things had cooled down and went to her Facebook just to say hi, only to find out that we were no longer friends. I let the other two know and they confirmed that she had also de-friended them. Additionally, her other “best friend” had de-friended all of us. Interesting. Anywho. I was honestly just shocked that she would do that. Looking back, I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised since she was known for being a drama queen.

Now that I’m older, I definitely have less friends but they are all people that I enjoy being around. Cray was basically the equivalent of a tornado – she sucked us into her mess and destroyed everything in her path on MULTIPLE occasions. While at the time I’m sure I thought it was the end of the world to lose her as a friend, you eventually realize that you won’t have all your friends “forever”. I also understand that you do fall out of touch with people, but occasionally you might want to reach out to them, which is why I don’t go de-friending people that I don’t talk to “anymore”. Hopefully I’ve moved out of the phase of my life where relationships are filled with “drama”. I thought it would all be over with high school, but as some people say, high school never ends.

I know it seems petty to get so upset over Facebook. It’s one thing to decide you don’t want to be friends with a person, but by deleting or blocking someone on Facebook, that’s also saying you don’t want the other person to ever know anything about your life again. I’m sure there are some people that deserve it (hi stalkers), but I tend to not defriend people I’m no longer friends with.

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You Are The Weakest Link. Goodbye.

Alright kids, gather round. Today we’re going to talk about the ultimate burn in this day and age: being de-friended on some sort of social media. I originally wrote this back in 2009 when I swear I was the only person in my friend group with Twitter and things like Instagram didn’t exist yet. So let’s focus on Facebook because being de-friended on Facebook sucks every bit as much today as it did in 2009. I’m not really sure what the pre-Facebook equivalent would be. Being picked last for the kickball team? Someone not returning your calls? Being completely ignored, kind of like the episode of South Park where Cartman thought he was dead? Anywho. Let’s get on with this.

To de-friend someone on Facebook is basically saying “I never want to see you again. I want nothing to do with you. You are dead to me. I am cutting you out of my life completely.” Once your former lover/roommate/best friend de-friends you, your updates will no longer show up in their news feed. They won’t be forced to endure status updates, pictures posted, or Farmville notifications. But Author, what if somebody is just cleaning out their list or really doesn’t give a crap about your engagement photo shoot? Nowadays, there are ways to hide that stuff! I have plenty of people on my Facebook that post a little too frequently about their kids’ potty training that I selected to hide their updates. Also, you can hide updates from games and other things. The best part is that the other person doesn’t know you selected to hide their updates whereas if you de-friend someone and then they go to look you up for some reason, they are suddenly VERY aware of this de-friending.

Personally, I have only felt compelled to de-friend people on two occasions in my life. The first was a completely normal occurrence. Remember when Facebook was for college kids only? (Man, I’m really dating myself here.) And the best moment of your summer before freshman year was getting your college email address so you could get Facebook (or as it was known back in the day THE Facebook)? And how many random people you friended that were members of “FALL INCOMING CLASS 200X WOOOO!!” Yeah…well…after I finally arrived on campus and realized that I wasn’t actually going to be friends with all these people who I had told about my down alternative comforter and flamingo string lights, I did a little cleaning. Understandable? Yes. If you don’t know the person in real life, you can delete them. During Spring Semester, I became friends with a kid that was in one of my new classes and he actually CALLED ME OUT ON IT. He was like “Well we were Facebook friends and then you de-friended me.” Ummm…today is the first day I met you?!? But sure enough, when I checked my OLD messages, I had found out that months and months before this, we had gone back and forth about how his building was closer to the dining hall than mine. Real friendship right there. Sigh.

The other time I de-friended someone was later in my college career. I was having a bit of a stalker issue and it got to the point where I didn’t want him in my life anymore. I was doing a great job at avoiding him in person, but he would always make snarky remarks via Facebook AND he had started friending my friends to talk to them about me. I was young and at the time didn’t realize how serious the whole situation was so I simply de-friended him, thinking that MAYBE he’d take the hint. He didn’t. Instead, he re-friended me and included a little message. I don’t remember it word-for-word anymore but I’m pretty sure thought it was awfully rude of me to remove him from my friends list. I’m sorry. I didn’t like when you Facebook messaged me twenty times in one day. At this point, I had to take it one step further and block him. I had never blocked anybody on Facebook. At this point in time, my blocking knowledge was limited to AIM. I’m assuming it worked because I never heard from him (at least on Facebook) again. Also, I can’t search for him. So it does go both ways. That’s alright. I can live without his creepy/emo status updates.

So readers, what brings you to the point of having to de-friend a person? Did your break up leave you in your pajamas for a week with only your good friends Ben and Jerry for company? Did your best friend steal “yo man”? Sick of looking at somebody’s ugly mug? Or…more grown up problems…are you sick of hearing about somebody’s upcoming wedding EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.? These ridiculous situations always make for great stories, so put yours in the comments and get ready for tomorrow’s post!

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TBT – Disclosing WHAT?!

I landed my first full time job when I was just eighteen. It was only for the summer, but still, I thought I was pretty cool…until the night before my first day when I remembered that I DO NOT eat like a normal human being. I have all sorts of health issues that make the “traditional” three meals a day life impractical. Suddenly, the simple idea of only being able to eat one large meal in the middle of the day at a cafeteria became this giant obstacle. But, I decided to suck it up and even thought that I would be able to “train” my body.

The first day, I  didn’t eat breakfast. Why? I can’t. If I put ANYTHING into my body in the morning, I get sick within an hour. But Author, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Surely there must be something you can eat! Nope, sorry, I know my body better than you do. I seriously cannot eat anything. So on that very first day, I shoved a granola bar in my bag and ate it during a bathroom break around 10:30. After that, I was STARVING and barely made it to my lunch break. Okay, so clearly THAT wasn’t going to work.

The second day, I decided to make myself the blandest breakfast ever. I had one scrambled egg (no milk, no cheese) and a piece of toast (no butter) with a glass of water. I ate about twenty minutes before I left my apartment. Everything seemed fine…until I got to work. I wasn’t even able to log into my computer before I ran to the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, I slunk back to my desk, only to have to return to the bathroom ten minutes after that. My boss came to check on me and I told her I wasn’t feeling well, so she sent me home. MY SECOND DAY.

The third day, I decided to pack some snacks and ask my boss to make some accommodations for me (and my digestive tract). Awhile back I posted about disclosing disability-related issues. I don’t know if it was just because this was the first time I was telling somebody that wasn’t a relative or friend or because it was a “bathroom” issue, but I was so embarrassed to have to ask my boss for an accommodation!

I went to work and went to my boss’ office when she arrived. The first thing she did was ask if I was feeling better. Why yes actually, about an hour or two after you sent me home, I was able to leave the confines of my bathroom, much to my roommate’s joy. Thanks for asking! (Note – I did not actually say that.) I explained the reason that I had gotten sick at work was because I had eaten before coming in. “Oh, did you eat something that didn’t agree with you?” No, I just ate. Period. That’s all it takes. I explained that if I ate early in the morning, I get really sick to my stomach but I can’t wait until my lunch break to eat. The only options were for me to either wake up at  4 am so by the time 7:30 rolls around, my stomach feels like accepting gifts of bagels and juice OR for me to be able to bring something and eat at my desk while working. As I was explaining this, I went into crazy girl babble mode and swore to never bring anything that smelled or could make a mess. My boss looked at me like I had eight heads (because I had all my crazy out there) and then said that would be fine. End of conversation.

For the rest of the summer, I brought both my breakfast AND lunch to work. I ate breakfast at my desk around 10:30. It usually consisted of a bagel or some fruit. This made it much easier to wait for lunch and I was happier and more productive person now that I wasn’t starving or dying.

Recently I’ve been watching the show Pramface on Hulu. It’s a British sitcom about teen parents. In one episode, the young mom gets a job at an office and has to sit at the front desk. Since she JUST had her baby, she needed to go pump at some point during the day, but was afraid to do so because she had not told her supervisor that she was a mom and didn’t want to be caught. It turns into a funny, although totally embarrassing situation, but she becomes MUCH closer with her supervisor after her supervisor finds out that she is a young mother.

What does that have to do with anything? It brings me to the main point of this post. If you need something, don’t be afraid to ask! Most people are nice and accommodating and will understand simple requests due to some sort of life circumstance.

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TBT – Graduation

I was not looking forwards to my graduation from Undergrad U. At some point in February, someone made mention of there being 100 days until graduation, and it was like some switch flipped in my brain. Before then, graduation had been some distant event with little meaning. It seemed long enough away that by the time it eventually rolled around, I would have my life together. But once that countdown hit the double digits, I was panicking. I didn’t have a “grown up” job yet. I wasn’t “over” college yet. Heck, I had just started to enjoy myself! And so I spent the next 99 days dreading graduation.

I had no time to process the fact that I was a graduating senior. I literally went straight from taking an exam to listening to some CEO of some company tell me to go out there and make a difference in the world. No cushy senior send off event for me. If I thought that college went by too fast, it was nothing compared to how fast I went from enjoying mixers with my sisters and nights at the bar to packing my apartment up and moving back to my parents house. Speaking of my sisters, there were only two others that graduated when I did. TWO. We didn’t take cute-sy senior pictures or anything of the sort. Not only was I leaving with nothing exciting in my future – nobody was coming into the lonely world of adulthood with me!

As PDFM U gets ready for graduation, I can’t help but to think back on my own graduation and all those thoughts and feelings I had. I wonder how all my students feel – if they’re excited or sad or scared or all three. Are they going to look back fondly on these last few weeks of college or be like me and wish that they had “done more”?

How did I spend my last few weeks? I remember sleepovers in my sorority house’s living room. Late night Taco Bell runs. Driving all over creation with my friends as they looked for a house to rent the following year. Enjoying things at Undergrad U that I had never tried before (true story, I don’t think I used the gym at UU until my last month of college). Maybe I did do enough. Maybe I just wish that college was longer.

I’ve had a few talks with some of my students adjusting to the post-college world. At first I thought that it was just me, that I was the only person having some MAJOR transition issues to life after college. Part of the problem with having only a few sisters graduate was that I had nobody to talk to these things about. Now that all my friends have (finally) joined me in the real world, I see them going through the same struggles I went through. It turns out everything I felt was completely normal. It takes time to get used to not living twenty feet from your best friends and not having something to do every night.

The good news is, I was MUCH more excited about my graduation from Grad School State. All of my friends were graduating with me, we had plenty of adventures together in our last weeks of school, and while I still didn’t have a job, I had a Master’s degree and for some reason that made me feel much more important. It didn’t make me think I could change the world, but it did make me think that I could help somebody that someday might change the world.

I wish there were more resources for those transitioning out of college. For now, there’s a nice network of bloggers that you can count on.

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TBT – Part Timing

Thanks to one of the blogs I follow, I found this article from The New York Times about how terrible part time work is. And after relying on working three part time jobs to get by for a year and a half, I fully understand how these employees are feeling. While the news reports that the unemployment rate is going down, that doesn’t count people who are “underemployed” like the woman in this article who worked as an interior designer for years and years, only to be working part time as a cashier in her fifties.

For part of my undergrad career, I decided to be a part time student. In my mind, I would spend more time working and would be able to pay for school easier. That wasn’t the case. At Undergrad U, part time students cannot receive ANY financial aid, including scholarships and grants that a student might normally qualify for. This meant that whatever tuition I couldn’t pay out of pocket, I was taking private loans for. This made it all to easy to forget about that expense until after graduation. Also, as a part time student, I couldn’t live on campus. While I lucked out and found super cheap (and super disgusting) subleases, that’s not always the case. In my area, off campus housing was usually more expensive than on campus housing. Another thing was that I wasn’t allowed to be an active member of a lot of the clubs I had been a part of. I also couldn’t work at one of my campus jobs because it was for full time undergrad students only. Once I returned to full time status, I kept working at my previous job and was working almost the same amount of hours that I had been while I was a a part time student! That was definitely not easy and I had to get creative with scheduling…both for work AND classes. As much as that sucked, I was much happier being a full time student!

Working part time jobs was also not a very pleasant experience. Yes, I had worked part time jobs before attempting to juggle three at once. But I had worked those while I was a student, so my job wasn’t my priority at that time. The reason I took on three at once was because I had just graduated from Undergrad U, hadn’t received any “real” job offers (even though I had applied to over 50 jobs!), and was on the verge of being homeless (a big thank you to all my friends with couches). The article made some valid points with the downfalls of part time work – less pay, less hours (obviously), and inconsistent scheduling. One of the jobs paid minimum wage and the other two were commission-based. That, along with the inconsistent scheduling, meant I had a VERY inconsistent pay check. The scheduling was honestly the worst part. Some weeks I’d have tons of hours, other weeks I’d be sitting at home and remember why I hated daytime TV. Also, I didn’t get my schedules until the Friday before the week of the schedule…that meant I had to wait to the last minute to plan EVERYTHING…hair appointments, doctor’s appointments, hanging out with friends, AND the hours I was supposed to work my other jobs. What’s worse, if I requested off one DAY or even part of a day (“Hey boss, I have a doctor’s appointment Tuesday afternoon, could you schedule me for morning only?”) my boss would definitely NOT schedule me for Tuesday (okay, fine, whatever) but also would schedule me LESS for the whole week because “I had less hours to give”. UMMM…WHAT?

While working part time is often necessary, being a part time student at a traditional four year college is something that can be avoided. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be part time students ever…there are definitely ways that it can work! However, you need to make sure you’re aware of the differences between part time and full time student status! In the end, going part time cost me a lot more than being a full time student would have.

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Throwback Thursday – Something New

I’m not a fan of change. As old and dinosaur-like as my laptop is, I refuse to get a new one because that means I’d have to change all the settings and move all my files and it’s just a hassle. I know, I know, total first world problem.

I have this bad habit of hating the first year of anything. First year of middle school? I missed recess. I wanted to go back to elementary school. First year of high school? Despised. First year of college? Loathed.

Many students are excited to start fresh when they arrive at college. Not me. I kept my EXACT routine even though my earliest class was HOURS later than when my high school started. And of course, to make sure I wasn’t exhausted for my early morning alarm, I went to sleep early. Like, 9:30. Because that’s when I went to sleep in high school. And luckily since Undergrad U is full of weirdos, my roommate never thought twice about my early bedtime. However, a few weeks into the school year, I realized I was missing out. All the fun things were happening after 10 pm!! Finally, my friends dragged me out of bed one night. Okay, friends might be a longshot. They were people from my floor that were friends with my roommate that basically didn’t believe I existed because I was always asleep. One night they literally dragged me out of bed and brought me to Walmart at midnight…while I was wearing my pajamas. At first I was embarrassed  but then “People of Walmart” became a thing and I realized that I was not the worst dressed shopper.

Since I hated new things and change and all that jazz, I refused to try the food our city was famous for. I’m a picky eater. Eating too much of foods I like can make me sick to my stomach. Also, it seemed gross. I didn’t understand everybody’s obsession. It looks terrible, smells terrible, and probably contains more calories than all of McDonald’s menu eaten in one sitting.

And then two days before graduation, I tried it…and it was amazing. I suddenly understood everybody’s obsession. I was actually upset that I hadn’t tried it before. And then it got me thinking of all the things I wish I had done sooner in college. I wish I had made friends sooner. Joined clubs sooner. Had fun sooner.

College is a great time to try new things and I think everybody could benefit from leaving their comfort zone a bit, but that does not mean you need to succumb to peer pressure and disregard your values. Peer pressure is bad. In “I Am Charlotte Simmons“, Charlotte’s friend Laurie says that college is a time to experiment. Try new foods. Go to different types of art exhibits. Go see “Vagina Monologues” because I’m sure you wouldn’t have gone to a showing of that in high school. Some people want to experiment sexually or with alcohol or drugs. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Whatever you choose to do, please be safe. And try not to do anything illegal.

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Throwback Thursday: A Secret Fred

Right now, I’m in the middle of putting together a series of presentations for my RAs based on the book “The Fred Factor” by Mark Sanborn. Really, you should all go out and read it. As I’m creating these presentations, I’m putting in little stories and suggestions for my future RAs.

As I was thinking of examples, I remembered something that happened my freshman year that exemplifies what a “Fred” is all about. On the morning of Valentine’s Day, I woke up to find that somebody had tied two candy bars to everybody’s door handle. Everybody had the same type of chocolate bar. Except on my door. There was a chocolate bar and a roll of Spree. Why? Because whoever had done this knew that I wasn’t supposed to have chocolate. To this day, I have no idea who did that. All I know is that it wasn’t the guy I spent most of freshman year “dating”…he returned his elementary school-style Valentine that I had slipped under everybody’s door to me torn to pieces. (Thanks for that K, glad we’re friends now!)

The point is, this person did a lot of “Fred” things. They clearly listened to me, they went out of their way to make sure I had something I could enjoy, they surprised all of us…the list goes on, all from this one action!

How many times do we stop and think about others in our lives? Time to be a commercial again. Go read this book. I don’t care if you’re a CEO at a Fortune 500 company or a janitor at your neighborhood elementary school.

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TBT – Passing

I remember when I was looking at grad school programs that I was completely opposed to any school that required a thesis to graduate. I hate writing (yet I blog…) and was terrified that there would be so much riding on a single paper. For some reason, the idea of the same amount of pressure to pass one test didn’t seem as intimidating.

During my first semester, a friend at another college studying a completely different subject took her comprehensive exams (hereby known as comps) and didn’t pass. I asked what her options were and she said that she was going to have to take them again. To me, that didn’t seem so bad. Hey, at least she was getting a chance to take them again!

As it got closer and closer for the time that my cohort would take the big test, I became incredibly anxious and stressed. I was actually sleeping with my study guides, as if my brain would somehow absorb the information overnight. I understood why my friend had not been happy about having to re-take comps – she wasn’t mad about not having passed, she did not want to go through this stress again!

And then the big day came and went. I literally don’t remember the actual test. I remember walking to the room and I remember nearly being in tears waiting for them to JUST HAND IT OUT. I know that I must have turned it in to somebody, can’t remember who, and then left and went to work like it was a normal day.

And then came the waiting. Everybody and their mother knew I had just taken this huge test. It was the only thing I could talk about in the weeks leading up to it. So now everybody and their mother was wondering how I had done on this huge test. It reminded me of when you’re a senior and everybody keeps asking you what your plans are for after graduation. I just wanted to shout, “I don’t know yet already, leave me alone!”

I guess in my cohort there was one individual who would stop by our poor advisor’s office on a daily basis to see if our scores were in. And one day, about a week before they were supposed to be in, she told him that yes, she had our scores. The news that scores were in spread like wildfire and everybody dropped what they were doing and ran to our advisor’s office. I had actually been hanging out with two friends visiting from out of town, so I missed the initial text and it wasn’t until after lunch that I found out. I told my friends that we were making a detour and dragged them with me to my advisor’s office. Apparently, I was the last one to find out my scores and the rest of the cohort was all together taking bets on whether I’d be the one person to fail (apparently it happens every year).

Clearly, since I graduated and have a job and all, I hope I don’t ruin the story if I don’t leave you all in suspense before telling you that I passed. I do remember that when I found out my score, I literally jumped in the air and screamed. My friends and I joined the rest of my cohort for our second lunch of the day and a longggg day of celebrations.

If you’re a grad student that has to take comps, the mere idea of them probably scares you. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to study and you will be fine. Remember, you knew this material the first time around. Later in the year, I plan on posting more tips.

Did you have to take comps or write a thesis? What was your experience like?

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TBT – The Worst Trip Home

After Monday’s post, you would think that my first trip home would have been my first visit home my freshman year. Yeah, it was a rough one. But at least during that trip, I was welcomed by the family welcoming committee – my aging black lab and the sounds of my mother’s “new age” music.

Unfortunately, my aging black lab eventually went to the large dog park in the sky. I know not everybody is a dog person, but all you dog people out there will understand when I say that my dog meant just as much to me as any sibling. Eventually I got used to calling my mom and not asking how my dog was. My mom still sounded upset when I talked to her, but to be fair, things were a lot different for her. I wasn’t at home hearing the silence of our house without a collar jingling and claws clicking on the wood floor. I was at school where I never had my dog.

And then I went home for break. Now, I was a very independent child so when my mom went back to work, she didn’t arrange for me to go to daycare or have a sitter. It wasn’t abuse or neglect. It made sense. I would only be home alone for thirty or forty minutes before my dad came home and I had a strict set of rules to follow. So in my mind, I had been staying home alone for ten years. The idea of coming back from school while my parents were at work didn’t phase me.

When I got home, I went in through the garage. Even though it had been a month since my dog had died, it still smelled like dog. It was like nothing had changed…until I opened the door to the kitchen and didn’t get barreled over by 100 pounds of dog. Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was truly home alone for the first time in my life. And what did I do? I cried and called my mom. I asked her to leave her job early and drive an hour to come home so I wouldn’t be home alone.

It’s been almost five years since then. I’ve lived completely alone. I’ve gotten a new dog. Now when I go home, I am once again welcomed by a dog and some sort of crazy music that my mom is listening to (she’s been on a Carrie Underwood kick lately). I actually now look forward to trips home.

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TBT: That Time I Went On A Blind Date

One day during my freshman year, I noticed an advertisement for a dance. Being a freshman, I thought that a school dance was a big deal and everybody and their mother would be in attendance. Eventually somebody clued me in that these things didn’t happen, but for some reason I became very focused on the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend. This led to me and my roommate doing two things.

The first thing we did was to create a flyer stating that I was looking for a man and hung it all over campus. Now, we’re not idiots, so we didn’t actually say who I was or anything and we made a fake email address. I’m pretty sure the only response it got was my college’s resident creepy kid.

The second thing we did was Facebook stalk the entire male undergraduate population of our college. This was back in Facebook’s infant days and for some reason this seemed like a totally acceptable way to find a date. We started looking at friends of friends and it just went out from there. Eventually, I found this kid that I thought was cute and decided to friend him or message him or poke him or something. I don’t exactly remember. The important thing is, this led to us hanging out.

I think eighteen-year-old-me believed this was a date. I remember getting ready for it. I can even remember the shirt I chose to wear. Girls that I really didn’t hang out with came over to help me get ready and came and waited with me in the lobby. I don’t know exactly what happened on the date…I think I went to this kid’s house and met his roommates and we ate food and watched MTVu. Looking back, I wonder how that conversation went…”Hey guys, so this girl messaged me on Facebook and she’s coming over tonight.” I hung out with this kid a few more times and became friends with his group of friends. I still talk to a few of them every so often even though things fizzled out.

The ironic thing about this whole story is, I would NEVER be that confident now. I know some of my friends are signing themselves up for online dating sites and the premise basically sounds the same as mine and my roommate’s stalking and messaging, but I could not imagine myself going on a date with a person based off of that.

I know that there are many things that we did as college students that we no longer do, but what is something that you are honestly surprised that college-you did?

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